Passing Thoughts

I have never felt a Christmas like this my entire life.

My vivid recollection of the Yuletide Season way back as a child was one full of excitement and fun. I always thought of it as the time of the year when our neighbor starts firing their bamboo canon, when my uncles play with firecrackers, and when a bunch of kids sing out-of-tune carols with stones and empty cans as accompaniment. I know it’s Christmas the moment I hear Jackson  5’s Christmas album saturate the airwaves with timeless Christmas hits.

When I was growing up, the observance of the Holidays became merrier. I have never seen Santa dropped by in the middle of the night with his supposed bag of goodies as the story is frequently told, but I did catch my mother one time stocking in something inside a pair of socks I earlier hung atop our Christmas tree. For six straight years from the time I turned 7 till I became 12, there was never a December 25 morning that I failed to show up in my favorite Ninong’s doorsteps.

Year after year, the feeling of Christmas gets kindler. I started to look forward to giving (and receiving) gifts and sending and receiving Christmas cards and holiday greetings from friends and relatives here and abroad. The feeling is so exhilarating that I wish each day is a Christmas day.

Until this year, I realize not all Christmases are the same. This year’s not just the one I grew up wishing for and definitely not the kind of celebration I use to exceedingly enjoy. While everybody else was perhaps busy partying, I was busy praying– for compassion, blessings, forgiveness, guidance, endurance, patience, perseverance and understanding.

We’re going through one of the most difficult times of our lives, which to a certain measure is quite a bit disturbing that I almost forgot Christmas is at the door knocking. But the tricky reality of life caught up on us and is casting a shadow of gloom.

What saddens us to see is that there were some whom we thought were our friends, but defined friendship in an entirely different context. They were individuals who find it fulfilling to feast on our struggles and pains, and who derive satisfaction at having ridiculed us amidst our plight, instead of showing compassion and understanding. We may be this low at this point in our lives, but our dignity as humans remains at all time high.

We just pray that apart from being able to weather this storm, none of our friends (and even those who treated us unfairly) and those dear to us, would have to endure the same kind of burden we’re working each and every single day to unload.

Ours is a load so heavy it brought us down to our knees, literally and figuratively. We didn’t realize at first but figured it out eventually, that everything has happened for a reason–to be closer to Him, the very meaning of what Christmas is all about.

If we have to go through every Christmas like the one we’re having now, then by all means and beyond the threshold of pain and hardships, we are more than honored and glad to endure this not just every Christmas time, but even each and every single day of the year–if it meant nurturing and enriching our personal relations with Him.

This year’s just an entirely different Christmas, but definitely the most meaningful one for us.

Have a merry and forgiving Christmas and a joyful and spiritually rejuvenating New Year!

A smile on everyone's face, is a priceless Christmas gift. (Thanks to Bejun & Michelle, and to Jessica May, Jean and Mat for making us part of your cause).

Amid the test of times, we still find way to help reach out during a gift giving for less fortunate kids initiated by my New York-based sister in law Michelle.